Giving up friends, money and time for you and I get what in return? Its smoking really that bad? Its bad for your health but anything else? I need it for work and for times that I’m stressed. Without a cigarette, would it really be that easy for me to go down there to see you. Where do I get all those energy from after working for so many days? You don’t know how hard I work. I already stop yelling at you and stop drinking so much. I changed a lot but every time I make like one little mistake and u will try to make a big deal out of it.
I’m sorry, I know I’m the worst. I hope you can find someone that don’t hit you and yell at you. I can’t keep the promises that I made to you. I really wished that the person who will walk to the end with me is you. I have grown in this one year thanks to you. Probably because we aren’t doing so good right now because the both of us isn’t mature enough. I would love to continue this relationship with you when we are older but for now, our future is more important. I don’t deserve a girlfriend as good as you right now. I love whenever I go to your house, you give me the warmth that I needed. You do my laundry, cook and give me massage. Thank you for everything. Sorry for putting you down all the time. You are strong, you can go through this. I have never cheated on you in this relationship, I truely tried and gave it my best. I also hope that you really did gave me your trusted. The person that sleep with me and always by my side is you not anyone else.
Don’t bring up your boyfriend’s or girlfriend’s ex. That will never make a relationship stronger but only make it weak. Telling them about your ex will only leave a scar. Best thing to do in a relationship, don’t tell them your pass.
I haven’t been in tumblr for a while now and I don’t remember the last time that I was here. I’m here today to type something that I want to remember that was given to me by someone special. I have a girlfriend, a good girlfriend but I don’t know how to treat her right. I regret that I ever been with her and cause her all these pains. Pains thats going to be staying with her for a long time. Couple years ago I feel like a nobody. All I do in the year of 2009 and 2011 is drink. I don’t care about my family or anything. Now after I met her, she changed my life. I remember the first time seeing her was at sushiland and I show no interested in her. I don’t think she is pretty or anything. I made a bet with a friend to go after her. She was nothing but a bet to me. Now after a year, she meant everything to me. She is my whole happiness and sadness. Whenever she is happy, I am happy and whenever she is sad, I am sad. Probably i like being happy and don’t like the feeling of being sad. I always yell at her and get mad at her for being sad. I never try using some sweet ways to cheer her up. Now she left me and I’m all alone again. I have everything in a second and lost everything in another second. I want to be back with her but I choice to leave. I don’t want to hurt her anymore, I don’t want her to be depressed. I want her to become happy and find someone better. She have something better to do, I don’t want this relationship to also affect her college. I told you that I was fine but I feel really painful right now. I really wish you could be by my side. I love you. I truly love you. I hope you forever happy. You will always be in my heart.
Spring break was just fill with tears. I got an answer from SD that she will go to prom with me and then the next day later she said she can’t go with me. I got mad at NT for not coming out and hang out with me. She can’t blame me, she told me to come pick her up and I stole my dad’s car to come get her. She lived like 15-20 minutes away from me and when I got there, she don’t want to hang out no more. What BULLSHIT, I think we’re better off as friends because when you like someone no matter how busy you are, you will find time to hang out with that person.
Went to the Casino with Tony, Jason, and Joe. I was happy for the first time losing money :) I actually can control myself and not as addicted as I was before. After casino we went to Denny’s for some strawberry lemonade and pancakes. We were having a contest see who could eat an drink more -_- I only ate 2 pieces of pancakes and drank 3 strawberry lemonade. I was texting NT at that time see if she is asleep. I was so tired that night but I was manage to talk to her until 4:30am so crazy……I missed the time that we used to talk, hope everything would go well between us :)
Today was a pretty good day :) walked to SD’s house and went to school with her. I think she is really pretty today, so gorgeous ^_^ In my mind I kept on thinking should I ask her to prom :) we would make a pretty good couple because she is shorter than me :) But it seem like I got stuck in the best friend position -_- Skipped the day with Tommy, Shiya and Zhida. It was awkward watching Tommy and Shiya kissing, making out in the back of my car. I decided, I’m not gonna skip with them ever again. I came back and went into mrs. B’s class to see NT. She said I look older -_- I said because you haven’t seem me lately, we should hang out. She said ok…… I was freaked out because usually she’ll tell me maybe or no. Day was excellent until I saw ML at work making me wanna FML -_-
I almost had you completely erased from my mind, WHY WHY WHY you need to appear at my work place today…..I hate you, why you give me this guilty look like I did something wrong. Is not my fault, is all YOU!
SD don’t have a date to prom yet…I can ask her to go but I want to ask NT. If NT say no when I ask her, I don’t want to go ask SD. I don’t want her to be the second choice, she deserves better than that. I really want to go with you NT but I dunno what you been up to lately. We haven’t been texting, haven’t been talking -_- Have you found someone that make you feel loved yet? FUCK THIS I’M ASKING NT FIRST!