Spring break was just fill with tears. I got an answer from SD that she will go to prom with me and then the next day later she said she can’t go with me. I got mad at NT for not coming out and hang out with me. She can’t blame me, she told me to come pick her up and I stole my dad’s car to come get her. She lived like 15-20 minutes away from me and when I got there, she don’t want to hang out no more. What BULLSHIT, I think we’re better off as friends because when you like someone no matter how busy you are, you will find time to hang out with that person. 

Went to the Casino with Tony, Jason, and Joe. I was happy for the first time losing money :) I actually can control myself and not as addicted as I was before. After casino we went to Denny’s for some strawberry lemonade and pancakes. We were having a contest see who could eat an drink more -_- I only ate 2 pieces of pancakes and drank 3 strawberry lemonade. I was texting NT at that time see if she is asleep. I was so tired that night but I was manage to talk to her until 4:30am so crazy……I missed the time that we used to talk, hope everything would go well between us :)

Today was a pretty good day :) walked to SD’s house and went to school with her. I think she is really pretty today, so gorgeous ^_^ In my mind I kept on thinking should I ask her to prom :) we would make a pretty good couple because she is shorter than me :) But it seem like I got stuck in the best friend position -_- Skipped the day with Tommy, Shiya and Zhida. It was awkward watching Tommy and Shiya kissing, making out in the back of my car. I decided, I’m not gonna skip with them ever again. I came back and went into mrs. B’s class to see NT. She said I look older -_- I said because you haven’t seem me lately, we should hang out. She said ok…… I was freaked out because usually she’ll tell me maybe or no. Day was excellent until I saw ML at work making me wanna FML -_-

I almost had you completely erased from my mind, WHY WHY WHY you need to appear at my work place today…..I hate you, why you give me this guilty look like I did something wrong. Is not my fault, is all YOU!

SD don’t have a date to prom yet…I can ask her to go but I want to ask NT. If NT say no when I ask her, I don’t want to go ask SD. I don’t want her to be the second choice, she deserves better than that. I really want to go with you NT but I dunno what you been up to lately. We haven’t been texting, haven’t been talking -_- Have you found someone that make you feel loved yet? FUCK THIS I’M ASKING NT FIRST!

I keep on thinking about you…………………can’t concentrate on doing anything

Even the chance of her saying yes is 1%. If I ask her, I’ll still have a chance but if I don’t, I will lose that 1% chance. 

From that day that I stopped talking to you, all my smiles and laughter around you are all faked. 

I really like you but I want to erased you from my mind because I’m afraid I won’t be able to control myself and walk up to my best friend and punch him. I dunno what to do……..is impossible to erased someone from your mind and that is someone that I see every A and B day. I tried looking another way during class and talking to someone else to ignore your existence but I can’t.